Birth Fathers Choice: Horrible and Wonderful

Friends,

This past week I was a witness to a horrible and a wonderful thing. You might ask me 'What could be both?' Well, I was asked to witness the reading and the document signing of a Birth Father signing away his parental rights to a child to be born in April. As a Father of a little girl it crushed my heart, made me physically ill afterwards, to sit there and hear that document being read, watching him sign it, and then I countersigned as witness to him signing it. He was young, he was trying to be brave, and he was trying to do the right thing. I had to physically stop myself from not taking the young man aside and say to him 'Do you know what you are doing?'

I don't know his situation, I can't judge. I could see by his demeanor that he did not come by this decision lightly or easily. On the surface he tried to maintain a stoic expression, but underneath through his eyes I could see the turmoil that raged within his heart. He tried to blink away tears and I handed him some tissues. Maybe not the most manly thing I could have done. However, I couldn't bear watching him suffer there alone. Friends, let me just say the tension in that room was thick enough to cut and serve.

I saw that that young man do what I know I could not do myself. It was horrible to watch him do it. It was horrible for me to witness it. But in my opinion, that was the single most courageous event I have ever seen in my life. It was, beside the day that the married my wife and the day my daughter was born, the most wonderful day I have experienced to date. Such love, such selfless love and sacrifice few get to witness ever. I needed to see it. I need to know what it was like for a man to sign that paperwork. My family wants to adopt a child and we have been waiting for the opportunity for almost 3 years. It was not until that day I really saw the other side of the equation of adoption. It was humbling.

Some might have differing opinions on Birth Fathers. I tell you this and I will tell anyone who wants to know. That Birth Father is a hero. I don't know his past and I cannot foretell the future. But in that moment, in that place, and at that time he stood up and was counted. He made the hard choice, the difficult call. No one can or should ever try and take that away from him. I wish him well and hope for his future.