How Dad did it I will never know.

Almost home from running down to Salt Lake on Thursday for a Tab concert for new temple presidents. Then up to Rexburg for two days to visit Roger and Carma. Then back last night for Music and the Spoken Word for this morning. Then over to mom and dad's for dinner in Collinston. Finally, back home (I hope) sometime tonight. Too much driving. Not enough sleep. Body aches. How Dad did it driving across Colorado and Wyoming for 11 hours at a shot I will never know. Sour gummy worms are the key. Ice cold coke is also a bonus. In other news I am working now 2 days a week in the temple baptistery in the Logan Temple. It makes life more, I don't know, bearable. Takes my mind off of the superficial 'stuff' and helps me refocus on the important things I need to be doing for my family and I. Right now DonNel and I are faced with the the unhappy decision of should we continue with the adoption wait or not. I am conflicted about the whole thing right now. We want to have another child. But here has never been a single solitary glimmer from anyone ever that they would want us to adopt a child. Money is tight and we are looking to see where we should cut costs and where to focus our efforts. I know this and I have told DonNel that if I stop with the adoption process now, that will be it and I won't be going back to it. So I am wondering if that is what we should do. Maybe our time has passed and the window of opportunity has closed. Am I just holding on to a dream? I am concerned that we are wasting our time, talents, energies, and resources on something that just isn't going to happen. Almost 5 years of waiting and nothing. I don't know what choice to make and if I am making the right one. If there had been a single flicker of something maybe I wouldn't be looking at this as a bad investment. But no one seems to be interested in us. Maybe we just aren't supposed to have another child. I don't mean to sound so down but I have to face the truth as it is now. I will go and talk with the LDS Family Services person tomorrow and ask her what she thinks we should do. Then maybe I can go to the temple and lay out my situation with The Lord and ask him what He wants us to do.